one two three fourrrrnication!
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
