I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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