I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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