oh god the rape fog is back!
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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