white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Randomize
