i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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