I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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