I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
he puts the penis in happiness.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
The uberlube is also flammable
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
