I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
