About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
