So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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