yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize
