Don't make out with my wife yet
oh god the rape fog is back!
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
