so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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