Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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