How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
this beer tastes like vomit already
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
