You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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