I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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