i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
