I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
