Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
