bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
