My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I will pee on everything he values.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
