the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
