I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Randomize
