did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Everclear isn't food dammit
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
