What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
