I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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