I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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