I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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