Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
