Can Purell be used as lube?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
my sisters under your porch take her home
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Randomize
