Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
