After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
