If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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