yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
