he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
