My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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