WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
