Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
two words...techno handjob
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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