So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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