i just google imaged poop.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
