maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
