You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
try to milk me bitch
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize