We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
