he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
