I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
