No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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