First date: that requires underwear, huh?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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