The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
