bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
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